Just lost the loudest game of "Tupperware Cabinet Jenga" known to man.
— Jim…Unmasked (@ItMightBeJimbo) May 12, 2013
Just read an inspirational quote telling me 'my angle will be there in times of need' so I'm brushing up on my trigonometry in preparation.
— Julie (@Julie_McGann1) August 10, 2015
[me getting chased by the police] OFFICER: i'm in pursuit, suspect is on foot–suspect WAS on foot, suspect is cryi–nevermind i got this
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 4, 2015
Sometimes I stop and think, "I could totally get back into the same shape I was in in my twenties." And then I go back to eating my Doritos.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) October 16, 2014
When you observe the humans note that they invented food that makes them hungry and information that makes them stupid. #fp
— Thomas Creamer (@TheTCreamer) September 25, 2015