ME: bartender. another.
BARTENDER: but you just-
ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER
[bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 25, 2015
Porky Pig wears a jacket, a bow tie, no shirt, no pants & has human hands but hooves for feet
Weird
Anywho, what brings you to speed dating?— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) February 13, 2015
*in the van*
Me: Does everyone have shoes?
Kid 1: Why do you always ask that?
Me: Becau…
Kid 2: Wait! I need shoes.
Me: And that's why.— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) October 27, 2015
HIM: Hi, I'm Bill.
ME: Hi, I'm…oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names.— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik) October 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/RedNightHawkAKS/status/662774375414788096