Parenting in the winter is just four straight months of yelling "SHUT THE DOOR!"
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 5, 2016
I bet Egyptians were all like ‘nobody in history will worship and revere cats like we do’ & then came the Internet 🐱🐱🐱🐱
— Jordan Jon Hodgson (@jordan_jwh) August 20, 2015
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) January 8, 2016
#Mythoughts– I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
— Steve Dresel (@BeautyBizBrain) January 4, 2016
Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast?
Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some?
Son: NO. I hate casserole.
Me (whispers): I know…
— Foxy Wine Pocket (@FoxyWinePocket) November 28, 2014