Drawing on Words

Me: let's go vegetarian
Husband: can we still eat eggs
M: of course
H: fish?
M: obviously
H: bacon on special occas-
M: we'd be crazy not to

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 27, 2015

*lies down in bed*
*closes eyes*
*gets comfortable and relaxes*

Brain: *blows into mic* *tap tap* Okay, so where was I…

— Northern Lights 🦖🐢🐸 (@PinkCamoTO) March 4, 2016

If my memory serves me, the last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.

— Cup ☕f Joe. (@I_Bl33d_Purple) May 31, 2016

Amazing that I have to scream at my kids to come to dinner, but they'll be at my side within seconds if I'm silently eating candy.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 4, 2016