It's that time of the year when you can buy fireworks from a giant tent next to a gas station in a hundred degree weather.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 20, 2016
I can't believe that I'm the only parent that makes their kids wear a hazmat suit in the McDonalds Play Tubes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 19, 2014
If I open the box, I eat the pie and it's gone.
If I DON'T open the box, I can't see the pie and it doesn't exist.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) June 20, 2016
Just took a shower on a Saturday like some kind of aristocrat.
— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) June 18, 2016
House phone just rang..
J (18): Why is the house phone ringing
G (11): I didn't know we still had a phone
In the end – nobody answered it.
— Chick Playing4Second (@Playing4Second) June 19, 2014
All were sooo good. I could agree with the third especially 😂
Thank you. My twitter feed gives me a daily laugh!