Drawing on Words

The worst thing about being a person who doesn’t swear is having to call bull frog on someone.

— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) September 9, 2016

a doctor walks into a bar, I follow him
he has a whiskey
the bartender asks me what I'll be having
I say
"just what the doctor ordered"

— the fool (@malt_skull) July 6, 2015

Me: You can't go outside dressed like that.

4-year-old: Why not?

Me: You're wearing a crown.

4: It goes with everything.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2016

Cashier: can I help you?

Me: Yeah, I was here earlier & I wanted to tell you I did have a great day just like you said.

Cashier……

— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) September 9, 2016