Drawing on Words

For someone who said "Correct me if I'm wrong…" you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did.

— jo (@whatsJo) November 29, 2015

If you want your dog to take a pill:

1. Get a piece of cheese

2. Eat the cheese for energy

3. Get ready to wrestle your dog

— Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash (@mynameisntdave) August 17, 2016

I've never felt older than I do right now

Except for right now

Well, actually now

Also now

And now

— the pan-midwesterner (@panmidwest) November 15, 2016

Sorry we're late, my toddler spent 3 hours eating a cracker.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 19, 2016