For someone who said "Correct me if I'm wrong…" you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did.
— ʝo̥ €ffiпg-Ðιg̥gιтy (@WhaJoTalkinBout) November 29, 2015
If you want your dog to take a pill:
1. Get a piece of cheese
2. Eat the cheese for energy
3. Get ready to wrestle your dog
— Max Dylan Ash (@mynameisntdave) August 17, 2016
I've never felt older than I do right now
Except for right now
Well, actually now
— The Pan-Midwesterner (@panmidwest) November 15, 2016
Sorry we're late, my toddler spent 3 hours eating a cracker.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 19, 2016
Me: I don't know what's happening the kids just ate everything I made for dinner & liked it!
— Kitty (@MsSkarsgaard) November 21, 2016