3yo's Christmas list
A red snowboard with steering wheel
A real dinosaur I can take to the moon
9 candy canes
Good luck Santa
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) November 20, 2016
Running with my dog, holding his poop in a small, lavender scented, biodegradable bag like the top-of-the-food-chain creature that I am.
— Karen D. Lioness (@DeadLioness) November 27, 2016
Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone's cake is WAY harder than cartoons make it look.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 18, 2012
Me: Want grilled cheese?
Me: What do you want?
Me: You know that's basically a grill-
Wife: Stop. You can't win.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) November 29, 2016
My fashion statement for jogging is "no one's gonna kidnap the girl in the Bozo wig and water wings."
— Julia Gulia (@JRobb773) November 28, 2016