A lady from the bank called to tell me my bank card had been stolen. We had a good laugh about where the thief would spend all $17 dollars.
— UltraPunch (@UltraPunch) December 14, 2016
Couldn't untangle my Christmas lights this year.
So I plugged them in and threw them out in the front yard. Christmas tumbleweed and done
— Darla (@ddsmidt) December 13, 2016
4-year-old: *eating pizza* This is what I love the most in the whole world.
Me: You forgot about your family.
4: No I didn't.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 17, 2016
As they say, English is a tricky language. It can be mastered through tough thorough thought, though.
— Mike Laidlaw (@Mike_Laidlaw) December 20, 2016
I still feel that the Grinch should've been held responsible for his crimes against Who-manity
— Mr. Hook™ (@Phook75) December 20, 2016