Does anyone want to come over for leftover Christmas ham every night for the next 2 or 3 months?
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) January 7, 2017
https://twitter.com/misfarber/status/806297598797770752
me: baby, are you mad at me just because I got the wrong sandpaper grit?
her: it's fine
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) January 5, 2017
I'm the reason the cashier hesitates a little before asking you how you're doing.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 5, 2017
Store Owner: Sorry, but we don't carry chicken feed. You want the place across the road.
*The Chicken stares deadpan into the camera
— John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) January 6, 2017
Drawing on Words 