I always carry a butterfly knife with me, in case I have to rumble with butterflies.
— Gran Master E. (@E_lok44) January 17, 2017
My fitness plan is being forgetful in a two-story house.
— JustLinda (@LindaInDisguise) January 7, 2017
A recurring theme during my midnight espresso sessions is: why am I not getting enough sleep?
— Lawyer Thoughts (@lawyerthoughts) January 17, 2017
Sick wife, who sucked down a dose of NyQuil 20 minutes ago, just mentioned I'm one of her top five husbands of all time.
So there's that.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) January 12, 2017
A Fitbit is just an ordinary bit who goes to Zumba classes.
— 2017 will be Tricksy (@AdrianYoung10) January 18, 2017