I buy my kids cereal based on which kinds I think my vacuum cleaner will be able to pick up best.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 18, 2015
My kids always seem confident in making decisions until they have to decide which leg to put in their pants first…
— (G) (@4handfuls) February 15, 2017
Husband who is bathing dogs in the bathtub asked if I wanted to join them & I wish I could say this is the weirdest offer I've had all day
— EricaTriesToTweet (@SteussieErica) February 25, 2017
Him: I think it's time for an intervention.
Me, with 5 chocolate chip cookies stuffed in my mouth & crumbs on my clothes & in my hair: Whaf?
— Just a Girl (@perfect_messs) March 7, 2017
Before I had kids, I didn't know I could ruin someone's day by saying, "Get dressed, please."
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 7, 2017