"My lawyers are going to have a field trip with you!"
–why I'm not allowed to trash talk— I Would Meh 4 U (@TheAlexNevil) April 28, 2017
I went to look for some stamps over 2 HOURS ago.
I've refiled all the important papers, done the budget for this year…STILL. NO. STAMPS.
+— Kizzywiggle (@kizletwiggle) April 28, 2017
WIFE: [waves]
ME: [waves back]
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: [waves]
ME: [waves back]
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: [taking headphones off my head] where are the kids?— Guy Incognito (@ShutUpThatsWho) May 2, 2017
Several odd things about the restraining order:
1. No mention of distance
2. Forbids joke telling
3. Written in crayon
4. Signed by my kids— Michael (@MichaelTrying) April 28, 2017
Talking my dad thru saving a Word file over the phone feels like an air traffic controller having to talk a passenger thru landing a plane.
— Margot (@notmargot663) April 20, 2017
Drawing on Words 