Marriage is cool if you like people putting away the dishes as loudly as possible
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) August 26, 2017
Me: Get in the tub.
3-year-old: I can't swim.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 2, 2017
Getting pushed in a swing is like being lazy and adventurous at the same time.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) September 2, 2017
*takes glass out of dishwasher*
*doesn't know where it goes*
*leaves on counter*
*wife puts it back in dishwasher*
*repeat for last 7 years*
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) September 2, 2017
My friend is a history teacher. She's compiling a list of great historical figures and she needs a male to add to the list. Suggestions?
— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) September 1, 2017