I accidentally said ‘pastryarchy’ instead of ‘patriarchy’ and now I have a vision for a better world.
— Lenny Firth (@lennyfirth22) October 20, 2017
I'm at my High School reunion and I am wondering where all these old people came from. 😳
— Kaye Steger (@utkaye) October 22, 2017
I like men who open doors for me. I like women who open doors for me as well because doors are gross
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) October 21, 2017
Some say college doesn't prepare you for real life, but there I was last night holding my daughters hair as she puked in the toilet.
— Faber (@dfaber84) October 21, 2017
Dad: "Hey, you're all done?"
3: "Yeah"
Dad: "You finished cleaning up that huge mess of toys?"
3: "Yeah"
Dad: "… Are you lying?"
3: "Yeah"— Myrrh (@ixix82) October 21, 2017
Drawing on Words 