"Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?"
Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out
— Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) January 22, 2016
Other women putting on expensive perfume and I'm just over here tucking Thin Mints into my bra.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 30, 2016
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away for a while.
— Erren Michaels (@ErrenMichaels) July 7, 2014
When I address a group of all men, I always begin with "Gentlemen, and Lady,…" and watch as people study each other.
— Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) February 8, 2016
Leaving a flyer on my windshield is probably the most annoying way for any person to litter.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 17, 2016