Drawing on Words

Today I have uttered the phrases "plungers are not toys" and "don't draw with the cheese" in case you were wondering what parenthood is like

— Goodnight Sanity (@GoodnightSanity) January 19, 2016

The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations.

— 尺乇乃乇ccﾑ (@cheeky__gal) October 27, 2015

TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight.

Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest?

TSA: ….

— BornHusky (@dlockw21) February 4, 2016

"I challenge you to a duel!"

"Very well. The weapon?"

"Compliments."

"A capital choice."

"Thank you, I- oh! I see you've dueled before!"

— A Small Fiction (@ASmallFiction) October 28, 2015