Me: I jogged to work this morning.
Him: You work from home.
Me: Made record time. Such a feeling of accomplishment.
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) May 31, 2016
Failed Hallmark card:
I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me.I thought you were going to take my taco.
— ʆαմɾα ɕհɾίςϯίηε 💕 (@lcwojo) November 28, 2015
Listen, son, when a woman eats M&Ms at 8 AM while weeping over a YouTube loop of soldiers being reunited with dogs, that's PMS. Stay away.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 6, 2016
Return of the Jedi is not possible without the receipt of the Jedi.
— bornmiserable.bsky.social (@bornmiserable) December 25, 2015
[grocery produce aisle]
ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?
CLERK: No, why do you ask?
CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) March 19, 2016
Drawing on Words 
“Listen, son, when a woman eats M&Ms at 8 AM while weeping over a YouTube loop of soldiers being reunited with dogs, that’s PMS.”
It’s also a lot of regular introverts, gay men going through a breakup, and millennials enjoying their first apartment away from home. Don’t judge.
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Very good point. Whoever it is. When someone is displaying those behaviors it’s time to show some empathy. 🙂
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