Bacon flavoured breakfast cereal.
"Why not just eat bacon for breakfast?"
I like the texture of cardboardy flakes.
— God is Tricksy (@AdrianYoung10) July 11, 2017
Student Teacher: okay class, who knows what an oxymoron is
Kid: you’re an oxymoron
Student Teacher: well yes technically that is correct
— Fro Vo (@fro_vo) May 3, 2016
Like a kite stuck in a tree, I too am stuck in a tree
— Mave (@MavenofHonor) May 17, 2017
Don't ask any questions but you can fit 18 peacocks in a Ford Fiesta.
— Lazer Cat (@Laser_Cat) February 25, 2016
ME: I wasn't invited to the party
FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic
ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone
— andrew chamings (@AndrewChamings) December 6, 2016