Drawing on Words

I used to tell jokes in front of all my stuffed animals.

They were a gracious audience… Except for the donkey, who was an ass.

— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) September 2, 2015

Interview tip-If asked "whats your greatest weakness?" reply "i was cursed by a gypsy to be so good at jobs that i can never find true love"

— mcc (@MattMcC1) September 3, 2015

[packing for holiday]

WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase

ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen

— Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) (@ojedge) September 3, 2015

Welcome to Passive Aggressive Club. We all got here early, but you just take your time.

— Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) April 22, 2015

When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It's just one boat, how many could there be, they said.

— ceej (@ceejoyner) February 6, 2014