[coworkers talking about college football]
Me: rhode island school of design seems strong this year
[silence]
Me: yay sports

— Grant Tanaka: Honky (@GrantTanaka) September 22, 2015

At some point, a guy looked at an onion that was clearly purple & called it red. AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LETTING IT HAPPEN.

— You know (@Tmoney68) February 6, 2015

I'm so good at explaining the meaning of symbols I'm pretty much a legend.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 26, 2015

My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 4, 2014

I just showed up on time for something like one of those grown adult thingies.
I mean, it was the wrong day. But still.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 17, 2014