I wouldn't need a job if only I had a good sponsor. Not the AA kind, more like the Nascar kind.
What say you, Red Lobster??
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) March 3, 2016
If you've never dug through a kitchen garbage can for 20 minutes, looking for a beloved rubber band, then you've never been a parent.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 30, 2016
Forcing my general contractor to dig his own grave. He says he can be done by May, maybe June. Depends on some other jobs.
— Jason (@longwall26) March 14, 2014
https://twitter.com/hippocroteez/status/754827598702735360
Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?
Tequila, I'm looking at you.
— Island Girl (@_Water_Baby) December 16, 2015
Drawing on Words 