humor – Page 4 – Drawing on Words

Getting pushed in a swing is like being lazy and adventurous at the same time.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) September 2, 2017

https://twitter.com/iwearaonesie/status/904011980876468224

My friend is a history teacher. She's compiling a list of great historical figures and she needs a male to add to the list. Suggestions?

— manwhohasitall (@manwhohasitall) September 1, 2017

Sunday Comics

August 27, 2017August 21, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

https://twitter.com/GianDoh/status/899760030433652736

Me:..and the bakery lady writes "Congrats" on top even though she knows the whole cake is for me
Therapist: How do you keep getting in here?

— Princess Peach (@GeorgiaSweet20) August 21, 2017

Me: There was an eclipse today.

7-year-old: So?

Me: It got dark.

7: It gets dark every day. It's called night.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2017

https://twitter.com/mollzbenn/status/882803997421084672

My wife found a spider in the shower.

Anyway, the open house is this Saturday if you're interested.

— Jeff🍷 (@JeffSarcastic) September 20, 2016

Sunday Comics

August 20, 2017August 21, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Me: *calls wife at work*

Wife: This better be important.

Me: I found another plot hole on Star Trek.

Wife: *cancels all her meetings*

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2017

https://twitter.com/soorploom/status/892122628718284801

https://twitter.com/dumbbeezie/status/898818428458356736

ME [Puts up "Have u seen my dog?" posters across town]

HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog!

M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 11, 2017

https://twitter.com/invisibleman_17/status/898887773972815872

Sweet picture was deleted. Here it is now:

House Arrest

August 17, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

This could be called “Roofing, Day Two” but I like my title better. The roofers were still hammering away on top of us. We had grand-kiddo day care, but couldn’t leave the house. The kids couldn’t play outside because of the falling tiles/nails/etc. Plus, we didn’t want to leave because my husband is vital when any technical questions arise.

So….what to do…what to do??

N and I decided (after parents approval was received) that we could try my henna kit and do some hand painting. It took a very long time….but was fun.

J and hubs were in the other room doing all kinds of buildings with jenga blocks. They set up dominoes type designs that would fall over.

Sure, we could have had the TV on or handed them electronics, but they only get a couple times a day to do that.

When the workers left at 3:30, we jumped in the car and they got 30 minutes of running around an arcade. It was still 103 deg. and the yard was not yet cleaned up. But they needed to run and jump and play a few games of air hockey.

Now if you are reading this and live in an area where you can not leave the house for days on end…my hat is off to you. As it was, we did quite well.

Sunday Comics

August 13, 2017August 12, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

The tables will turn, daughter, and I'll spend my geriatric years living rent free in your house, refusing to go to bed. Watch.

— Burning Mom ⚡️ (@MomOnFire) July 30, 2017

I got on one knee before her, and slowly opened the jewelry box that was filled with tiny slices of ham.

Anyway, she wasn't the one.

— Avogadro’s House of Moles (@schumoo) July 29, 2017

5-year-old: I don't want to go to sleep.

Me: What else would you do all night?

5: Not sleep.

Solid plan.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 8, 2017

https://twitter.com/datassque/status/891490406776623111

Me: Parents for $800
Alex: Answer "Fake a limp"
M: What is What happens when I ask my kid to do a chore?
A: That is correct!
Crowd goes wild

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) August 9, 2017

Friday humor — Zen Flash

August 10, 2017August 9, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

I know this is not Friday, but Zen Flash’s blog post gave me a chuckle, so I’m passing it on. Enjoy.

Tao

via Friday humor — Zen Flash

August Weather is Mocking my Brother

August 8, 2017August 7, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

My brother flew into PDX today (required picture of PDX carpet). He had it all worked out. Since Kansas is soooo very hot and humid in the summer, he planned to escape the weather and spend some time with his Pacific NW family.

Mother nature had other plans. Kansas is having temperatures in the high 70’s while the valley is experiences a heat wave….mid 90’s.

As he left the airport he laughed out loud. “This feels familiar,” he stated as we were hit by the humid heat.

Worse, the traffic coming home was at a crawl. We finally pulled off in Wilsonville and ate dinner at a lovely Chinese restaurant. Weather would not dampen our spirits.

Tomorrow he heads to the coast where the weather is to be mid-60’s ! Yes, finally he will experience the cool weather of Oregon.

Be kind to my brother, Oregon Coast. No more surprises.

Sunday Comics

August 6, 2017July 29, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Me: I've had a breakdown.

Tow truck company: Where's your car?

Me: Car?

— Phil (@geowizzacist) May 27, 2017

I forgot a towel when I took a shower so I had to use a bath mat to dry off and that's probably as close to being MacGyver as I'll ever get

— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) February 5, 2017

https://twitter.com/xLiserx/status/887961820740411392

https://twitter.com/thenatewolf/status/889587077976805376

Doctor: "I think this patient is dying. What blood type is he?"
Nurse: "B positive."
Doctor: "Okay. I don't think this patient is dying."

— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) June 27, 2015

Sunday Comics

July 30, 2017July 29, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

[parent teacher conference]
TEACHER: little joey has trouble accepting responsibility for his actions
PARENT: good luck dealing with that

— Olly iConic (@OllyiConic) May 7, 2017

https://twitter.com/theroyaltramp/status/891063365648490497

WIFE: hey did you know you put the baby’s shirt on backwards ag— *notices that my shirt is also on backwards* — nevermind

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 29, 2017

Did you know that R2-D2 is speaking plain English in all the Star Wars movies? We only hear the beeps because he won't stop cussing.

— Jesper Schmidt 📚 Author. Worldbuilder. Educator. (@SchmidtJesper) July 29, 2017

I still have all of my teeth, half of my hair, and don't need Viagra.

Your move, Old Age.

— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) July 29, 2017

Sunday Comics

July 23, 2017July 22, 2017bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Quaint little cafe:

Server: Shall I leave the teabag in Sir?

Me: Best leave it in. I've tried it with the teabag out and I'm not a fan.

— God is Tricksy (@AdrianYoung10) July 22, 2017

https://twitter.com/Submit2thePope/status/888100578810834944

At my eulogy:

So I was gonna talk about what a good person Aimee was, but I saw her browsing history and…um…we should all just leave.

— Aimee Helene (@AimeeHelene1) July 21, 2017

Reckless abandon because what other kind is there?

— Jack Boot (@IamJackBoot) July 21, 2017

https://twitter.com/JoParkerBear/status/888201949237129216