humor – Page 13 – Drawing on Words

Sunday Comics

March 20, 2016March 13, 2016bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Me: Hold still. All I need to do is wipe your nose.

Toddler: *dodges the tissue like she's in the Matrix*

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 24, 2016

When one door closes, another one opens. And then closes. And then opens. It’s the fridge. It’s me in front of the fridge.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 22, 2015

https://twitter.com/WoodyLuvsCoffee/status/692535252733009920

https://twitter.com/exador86/status/693558594906804224

Drinking ink won't kill you, you'll just dye a little inside.

— Paul (@bingowings14) January 10, 2016

Sunday Comics

March 13, 2016March 10, 2016bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

If I owned a collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”

— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) January 18, 2015

5 got invited to 3 birthday parties this month. I'll spend next month throwing goody bag crap away in the middle of the night like a ninja.

— Mrs. Sordahl Needs Coffee (@MrsSordie) January 4, 2016

I think a good gift for a mime would be a real rope.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 19, 2016

https://twitter.com/PeachesMcPeach/status/573600357370089472

https://twitter.com/muffinlab/status/551415640884383744

This last tweet sounds like a good idea. Heading back to bed, ya’ll!

Whirled peas

March 9, 2016March 22, 2016bobbibowwoman6 Comments

Whenever we order something, we often get the question, “Will there be anything else?”

My husband’s answer is almost always, “Yes, World Peace.”

This almost always catches cashiers by surprise, since they don’t know if they have heard him right. So while I cover my face with my hands, my husband cheerfully repeats, “I’d like World Peace, please.” The cashiers, while not amused, are usually patient.

Robert is a regular of “Joe Mocha” in Salem where he has used this “World Peace” response with the wait-staff enough times that he came home yesterday proudly displaying his coffee cup.

“Whirled Peas”

Made his day.

Sunday Comics

March 6, 2016February 18, 2016bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Thank goodness they have a boneless variety. A watermelon bone almost killed me once. pic.twitter.com/CVdIGYhuju

— Mrs. Sordahl Needs Coffee (@MrsSordie) July 14, 2015

https://twitter.com/TheGladStork/status/418908673344155648

There should be a law that all meteorologists have to start their weather segment with, "Now I'm totally guessing here…"

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 7, 2016

A magic 8 ball is a really awesome friend because you can ask it a question and then shake it until it gives you the right answer.

— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) January 16, 2016

"Which type of wine do you like?" she asked.

"Not a really high pitched one" I replied.

"Not whine! Wine!" she said.

"Oh" I said

— God is Tricksy (@AdrianYoung10) January 20, 2016

Laughter and Friends

March 2, 2016March 22, 2016bobbibowwoman6 Comments

goldfish

A dear friend, Lucy MacDonald, sent me this image today. The artist’s name is Vince Pezzaniti who sells his work through Society6. (Check him out!)

I had written this long and boring post about my frustration with greedy insurance companies, media using scare tactics about people addicted to pain meds, red tape, waiting lines, and doctors trying to balance all the pressures when trying to coordinate pain management.

This poster made me laugh. Nothing makes me lose my sense of humor faster than pain, so her timing was perfect.

I deleted my original long and boring post and leave you with this image.

Whatever is going on in your life, I hope this little goldfish makes you laugh.

Sunday Comics

February 21, 2016February 18, 2016bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) October 3, 2015

"@LaniBeno: I don't have a messy house. I have a strategically laid obstacle course to foil burglars." @nadalada14

— Steve (@ScubaSteve1219) June 15, 2013

https://twitter.com/kateemick/status/679330237742616576

Everytime I call my dog he never answers I regret getting him that phone

— Mark (@NoticablyBacon) December 27, 2015

The coolest goats are probably escape goats, what with the flashlights tied to their horns.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 28, 2015

Sunday Comics

February 14, 2016January 27, 2016bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Sorry I'm late for work, my daughter had to change her socks 500 times until she found a pair that "didn't feel funny".

— Say it ain't so (@Shut_up_Marissa) December 9, 2015

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.

— Sam🌻 #ProjectJOMO (@ISpiriTualist) December 18, 2015

I'm lazier than the guy that named the White House and oranges.

— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) December 15, 2015

I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.

— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) August 29, 2015

YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) October 3, 2015

Sunday Comics

January 31, 2016January 18, 2016bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Chuck asked if I had a martial arts weapon consisting of two sticks connected at one end by a chain. I said "I have none, Chuck"

— Neon (@theneonninja) September 14, 2015

[first date]

I just love that you are a normal, cool girl.

*subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair*

-Yeah, totally.

— molly (@MollySneed) April 17, 2015

I'm wearing a push-up bra and can still only do 3 push-ups. Would not recommend.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 23, 2015

https://twitter.com/Jake_Vig/status/669535181615841281

In taste tests, butter beat I Can't Believe It's Not Butter by just a small margarine.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 28, 2015

Sunday Comics

December 13, 2015December 12, 2015bobbibowwoman2 Comments

This first one is a real insight into my sports knowledge:

[coworkers talking about college football]
Me: rhode island school of design seems strong this year
[silence]
Me: yay sports

— Grant Tanaka: Honky (@GrantTanaka) September 22, 2015

At some point, a guy looked at an onion that was clearly purple & called it red. AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LETTING IT HAPPEN.

— You know (@Tmoney68) February 6, 2015

I'm so good at explaining the meaning of symbols I'm pretty much a legend.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 26, 2015

My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 4, 2014

I just showed up on time for something like one of those grown adult thingies.
I mean, it was the wrong day. But still.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 17, 2014

Sunday Comics

December 6, 2015December 1, 2015bobbibowwomanLeave a comment

Happy December!

I saved time doing yard work by renaming the weeds "plants"

— Drunk Dreamer (@ElgatoEsmio) July 9, 2015

https://twitter.com/SteveKoehler22/status/641912057395343364

4-year-old: Why do you go to work?

Me: They pay me a salary.

4-year-old:

Me:

4-year-old: I don’t even like celery.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 28, 2015

Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.

— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014

[makes a voodoo doll of himself]
[gives it a little back rub]

— Timmy™ (@TheTimmyToes) August 11, 2015